A friend Is always a friend

The Problem

I admit that I always had a fight with my friends. And i am the one that will always ‘merajuk’. There was once I didn’t talk with Syauqi for two weeks. Argue with Radzi and we can’t see each other face for a month. Misunderstanding with Fabe because of girls. Didn’t talk with Eizzaty for a month. With Nani, countless time already I fought with her, and almost jeopardizes our friendships.

The reason. I think, most of all, it was my problem. I will always be the culprit. Think too negative and maybe I am too complex and complicated which make people headache especially who prefer simple. Maybe this is me. That I can never change my way of thinking. The only solution, is sometimes, I need to keep myself shut so that people can think. Haha.

And now, I am not really in a good phase with my college friends. But something holding me back to express myself. Something in the past make me scared to tell. I am angry to what happen to me, piss of because of what I think unfair. But I can’t blame others for what I’ve done and I think I’ll just need to keep it down, give them some space to breath. They need to focus on Ausmat and I don’t want to add their burden with my ‘kerenah’. Need to make myself invisible. I’ve already a troublesome. Heee… Sorry guys

The consequences for my quietness and isolation, there will always an incident that will always remind me of them when I argue. For example, if I watch a MU match, it will remind me of my friend whose name was also one of the players. Haha. The worst part is, you were trying to ignore them because of a reason that is hard to explain, but they keep coming to you unintentionally and coincidently. Evrywhere I go, these thing will appear to remind me of them I care. Even at my college it appear to be there.

However, the outcome of all the fights and misunderstanding, they know me better, they know my weakness, our friendship became stronger. Just the phase to pass the argument and start speaking with each other again and apologizing is a very difficult task.

All i can say is just. I think, a friend, is indeed will always be a friend.