And that’s why I post it.
With all my heart, i never meant to hurt you, harm you reading my blog. But now I know that you are reading my blog. And that really2 make me happy. Because finally I am able to say the things I’ve been keeping so long that just won’t come out from my mouth. Finally I found the way to really communicate with you. Finally you know what’s wrong and what is the problem in my head.
I kept
· Making the false accusation
· Making people to understand me
· Making people to know me
· Making people to trust me
· Making to “pujuk” me
· Making people to pay attention to me
· Breaking a promise that I never meant to
But I never try to
· Hurt you
· Disappoint you
· Make you sad
· Make you feel bad
· Make you cry
· Say bad thing bout you
But it happens and,
I try to understand you. Never meant to say that you a bad friend. And now, I know that we have a lot of difference and it seems there’s a lot of thing that we kept.
Okay, although I would prefer a face to face conversation, but it never appear to be come true talking bout it because some people rather forget bout it and just keep it quiet making a poison in their heart like me. Here it goes anyway. Why I said the things I said. As you know, I am a hard-headed person who only thinks he’s right and like to emo that don’t care about others feeling when I did that. But some of the thing that happen out of our control make us different. For example, I read a whole page just about promises. Or maybe two in a row that really taken me back. I am crush reading those because I really didn’t mean to do what I did but still, I deserve it. Actually, what had happened was, the thing happen BEFORE I make the promise, I did try to explain and tell you but you cut me off wanting to forget everything. 2nd, when I complaint about how people mistreat me and said things to me, you said not to think negative about it where I was just trying to tell what I thought and misinterpret. But again it seems as if I’ve been cut off again. I am a person who really2 like to talk and it kind of hard to not able to. And finally, I kind of loss a lot of topic when I am not able to tell a story even though it’s not around when you said it’s hard to imagine something it’s not here. Well, that I’m agree. I’m a bit trasa but it’s not a big things actually when I gave something to you but you just praise the other person making me feel unappreciated and when I thought I am close to you but in ur blog I nothing found anything interesting bout me in fact just my biggest mistake in the world (breaking promise, agree with that), and it seems I’m the only one who has no relationship with you. I am a negative thinker when I said that what you did making me feel used and not important in your life. I know but still, i think negative, it does not mean that we have to show that we care. And I started to treat you like that because I felt like being treated like that actually. Childish.Hee.. =p
What I think went wrong,
· I am a person who just want to talk2, story2, bebel2, scream2, brag2 bout things and most of it not reality and fantasy just a bout me but you rather make it short and talk something more related with us. So, it kind holding me back to tell story as if you are not interested. Story bout things unrelated to us, is always came up in my mind I just can’t seem to stop talking.
· The problem is when I start to campare. Then, I will only see the bad side, think the wrong way. When something happen to me, I kept it making poison that kills me. Making me think irrationally.
· We are not really in the same channel but I just make the assumption. When I am a person who really like to show that I care, but you’re kind of a "silent care". I tend to assume you don’t care.
I am the culprit actually. But in the end, now I know a lot
of things. How are you. What you think and the way you think.
A biggest SOORRY I would say. But I think enough is enough and I get the point. Don’t want to fight anymore, this is the last thing bout that. Thanx for being the best friend wasting time reading this unthinkable blog, and responding to it. And a biggest thanx for trying to find the solution. I really2 love you as my friend.
Friends fight though.
Hope we're still friend after what i did here.
